Weina.

The last goodbye.

2010-06-18T16:25:00.008+08:00

I'm bidding farewell to a place I've lived for more than two years. India is indeed incredible. Where can you find these much sights and sounds? Where can you find that long row of cars honking without a care in the world? Where can you see electrical wires hanging above you, all in a tangled mess? Only in India.

Maybe coming to India has changed me. Most importantly, I've learnt how to appreciate what I have. You go shopping and spend money on clothes and things that aren't important. In the car, a beggar knocks on your window, begging for food. Or just water even. You look at the pile of shopping bags sitting in your lap and what do you feel? I feel remorse. I feel regret. I feel that I've just wasted a heap of money on things that don't matter when there are people out there, kids out there, who need that money so much more than we do. With that money they could drink clean filtrated water, they could have proper showers everyday, they could satisfy their three meals, they could go to school and study. I know saying all these don't make a difference because there's no action. Sometimes I feel really useless because I've not given anything back to society. I've not helped anyone.

Here, I've learnt to look at things from a different perspective. My friends have taught me that no matter what others think of you, what's most important is how you look at yourself. Other people's opinions don't really matter, because in the end you can never manage to satisfy everyone you know. And sometimes you just get tired of running after everyone and trying to fix every little thing that goes wrong. I've learnt to love myself for who I am.

I can't believe that I would say this, but yes, I'm gonna miss India. I'm gonna miss New Delhi. But missing New Delhi does not mean that I would do anything to get back here. I will even miss the crappy things about this place. I remember when I first came, I couldn't wait to get out of this hell hole. I hated it here. Right now, hate would be a really strong word but I wouldn't say that I love it here either. This place gives me negativity, but I'll miss it still.

Random fact: You can find all sorts of animals on the streets in New Delhi - cows, camels, elephants, dogs, donkeys and cats.

I will definitely miss my friends who've gone through so much with me in the past two years. Our crazy moments and gossip sessions will always be remembered. They've been awesome and I'll never forget them. I don't know when I'll be seeing some of them but we'll keep in touch.

I'll miss the amazing shopping here and the awesome deals I got at Sarojini. I'll miss the long road trips and train rides we took to go to different parts of India. I will miss Tamilnadu, the delicious South-Indian food here. I'll miss the movie theaters at the shopping malls. I'll miss the bright colours of the saris.

Random fact: You can't count till 5 without hearing a horn of a car in New Delhi.

I will miss the bad-ass tuktuks on the roads. I'll miss the long traffic jams with impatient drivers. I will miss the killer blue-line buses which scare me when they drive too closely to our car. I will miss the stares of the Indians wherever I go though it freaks me out a little. I'm gonna miss the throng of people and the foul smell of meat in the market place. I'm gonna miss the smelly train stations where people randomly sleep on platforms. I'll miss the beggars pressing their faces onto the car windows and rapping loudly with their ringed fingers. I'll miss the disgusting Indian men who pee on the streets.

Random fact: You can never go out on the roads in the car without passing by a man peeing/excreting on the pavement.

There's so much about India that can't be put into words. You have to come experience it yourself and you will be amazed.

INCREDIBLE INDIA.

________________________________________________________________________________________

It's my last day here today and I'm leaving tonight. I'll be home tomorrow morning. :) However Daddy will be spending a lonely Father's Day here and I feel bad.

Also, I'll be closing this blog soon. It'll be a new beginning for me so I've decided that I need a new blog when I get back too. Therefore it's a final goodbye to this blog which has accompanied me on my New Delhi journeys since 2008. I've posted 804 posts, including this last one. I will miss it, really.

Alright, goodbye everybody and I'll see you back home.

You spin my head right round.

2010-06-17T21:55:00.000+08:00

Like stars circling the moon.

2010-06-16T23:14:00.000+08:00

Caught Karate Kid with the family today at the mall. Jayden Smith is adorable as hell. He looks exactly like his father. I liked this movie, it was so touching.

Spain lost to Switzerland for goodness sake. Totally unbelievable and unexpected. :( The Swiss weren't even playing fair. It's like ten Swiss attack a Spaniard when he gets the ball. Boycott Switzerland! However, I have to admit that Torres looked especially hot when he substituted in the second half.

The television satellite is fixed thanks to Dad calling the man to come set things right.

Had a fever when I got home in the evening and went for a nap straight away. Don't feel exceptionally well and therefore I'm going to sleep early. I shall skip the midnight match. It's South Africa and Uruguay anyway.

It's the 16th and I'm going home soon. Can't wait. But leaving Daddy behind again makes me sad. I'm gonna miss him so much.

I have a cold, sore throat and fever. I'm heading to bed.

Till all my sleeves are stained red.

2010-06-16T12:13:00.005+08:00

Sleepover @ Mallika's awesome house where we camwhored in a tent we built in her room.

Kavita, Mallika, me and Janaki.

I miss these girls already.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Party @ Shouryya's place to celebrate the end of IGCSEs (though some people still had a couple more exams).

Lavi, Maggie, me, Marcell and his Hungarian friend.

George used to go to our school but he moved to the American School. Loves it there, traitor.

Rishi, Nestor, Lavi, Bodi the tall one, me and Yamini. We're all leaving except for Yamini.

Ragini (twin of Janaki, they don't look alike)

I forgot how easily you make me smile.

2010-06-15T22:29:00.005+08:00

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." -Jimmy Dean

My throat is hurting like mad and I've been sucking lozenges since I got home. Went for a party yesterday night and damn was it wild. Well it was my last party in Delhi and I was bent on going crazy. :) Though I'm suffering for it right now. Slept over at Lavinia's after.

It's the last day I'm seeing the girls today. Maggie's flying off to Austria tonight, Janaki might be on the plane to Hong Kong right now, Kavita's already in Andaman Islands. The rest are leaving tomorrow or day after. As for me, I'm heading to the airport on Friday night. In the mean time, I've got to start packing my luggage and settling other things. The boxes have already been sealed and are going to be put into a cargo ship soon. It's so unrealistic how I'm leaving New Delhi in three days.

I'm going to miss the girls so much. Our weird-ass moments are unforgettable, for sure. It's goodbye for now and I don't know when I'm seeing some of them but we'll keep in touch. :)

My throat's killing me. I feel awful. I think I'm falling sick.

Alright toodles.

Head so filled.

2010-06-13T23:57:00.000+08:00

My sentiments exactly. So many things are going through my head right now. No one's listening.

Putting together a robot without an instruction manual.

2010-06-13T22:52:00.003+08:00

"The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea." -Unknown

We always binge on a sleepover. And especially when we're at Mallika's huge mansion where she's got amazing meals and snacks, anything you name. Munchies during a DVD, late night vanilla ice-cream with Oreo cookies and Ginger Ale to perfect the combination.

We built a tent in the room and did stupid things. Most of all, we watched four movies back-to-back. I was exhausted by bed-time at 2am. Had loads of fun. I'm going to miss these bunch of girls.

Got up at eleven this morning and had breakfast before going to Mallika's basement to play foosball.

Currently watching the Ghana and Serbia match. It's the second-half and nothing but a couple of goose eggs.

I'm not in the mood to post, I'm tired but it's only nine.

When you say nothing at all.

2010-06-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

Update:

Me and Lavi before A Nightmare On Elm Street.

Today's play date with the girls.

This is Aaron, a little five-year old monster who's hopelessly mischievous but very adorable. Half Singaporean and half Taiwanese, a cute mix. :) He's hair is longer than mine and is curly!

Our little Transformers fight.

Happy birthday BFF.

2010-06-11T21:40:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLY YAP! I MISS YOU BUT I'LL SEE YOU SOON BFF.

Every minute's like an hour, every hour's like a day.

2010-06-11T21:32:00.004+08:00

Battery's running low and I'm too lazy to charge it. Therefore I will make do with a real quick post. Going out for dinner in fifteen minutes anyway.

So A Nightmare On Elm Street wasn't all that terrifying. It's gruesome and a thriller, but it doesn't give me the chills. I haven't watched a film that's made me afraid to switch off the lights at night or go to the bathroom alone before. Besides, the thing about me is that after I watch a scary movie, I forget it the next day or even after a few hours.

Spent five hours yesterday after getting home packing the room. Threw out stuffs, packed some into boxes, organised others and gave away the rest. And I'm not even halfway done. Very exhausting day.

Headed to Kavita's today. We just gossiped and looked at yearbooks and watched Shanghai Noon on television. It was more or less a relaxing day, without the craziness. Maggie was M.I.A, I couldn't get hold of her and Lavi had transportation problems therefore didn't show up.

I'm very tired yet again and I haven't packed my clothes into boxes. I don't know how long I'll be out for dinner but I hope I'll get time for sleep tonight.

Lastly,

WORLD CUP 2010 IS HERE!

If I could have one dance forever.

2010-06-09T23:56:00.000+08:00

"I want to run with reckless emotion. I want to find out if love really is the size of the ocean and even if i crash and burn at least I'll know what it's like to feel alive." -Unknown

Spent the first day of my new-found freedom at Maggie's place. She wasn't feeling well so we crashed her house and cheered her up. Of course, while watching Gossip Girl and the girls made me watch Glee with them. Not my type, oh no.

We (Lavi, actually) whipped up mac and cheese for lunch which turned out pretty tasty. And sausages. After a moment of boredom, we tried a hand in baking cookies which was pretty disastrous. The cookies looked a little unappetizing and didn't taste amazing either.

It's almost ten and I'm exhausted. All this sleeping late and getting up early is getting to me. I know lack of sleep gives me bad complexion and eye bags. Therefore I'm sleeping early tonight. :)

Catching A Nightmare On Elm Street with Lavinia, the only person who's a thrill-seeker like me, tomorrow. And we're gonna check out the first Zara shop in India!

Goodnight.

The complete mind and body guide.

2010-06-09T23:51:00.001+08:00

Just when you almost gave up every thought.

2010-06-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

EXAMS ARE OVA OVA OVA OVA OVA OVA WHOOPEE \M/

I actually screamed for joy when time was up after the short forty-five minute paper was over. Well it wasn't everyone's last paper except for some of us. Nevertheless, it's like a heavy rock is finally lifted off my chest and I can finally breathe easier now. Very happy, thank you.

From now till the start of school back in Singapore, no one mention the word 'study' or 'revision' or anything to do with homework and stuff like that. I AM FREE BABAYE.

Spent the rest of the day with my aunt who came on a roster with Singapore Airlines. So she's leaving tomorrow morning. We wasted the day gossiping in her hotel room and cracking jokes. She brought loads of snacks and foodstuffs and magazines for us. :) Then we went to the Hyatt Hotel to the jewellery shop because my aunt, being a woman, loves diamonds and pearls and anything shiny. Spent a couple of hours there and then we had dinner at Side Wok with Daddy. My aunt hung out at our house for another few hours before we sent her back to her hotel. I'm gonna miss her and her crazy laughter, but I'll be seeing her real soon.

The weather the past couple of days were sort of weird. It's been extremely windy with minor sandstorms and slight drizzles and today it's so cold. Actually, cold. I haven't felt this type of cold since January when winter ended. It's good but abnormal. I mean, it's the middle of the Indian summer. (You're like an Indian summer in the middle of the winter~ However this is the opposite.)

Here I am admitting that I'm a neat freak. I mean most of the time my room is spotlessly clean, neat and tidy. You'll barely see something out of the place. Very weird because teenagers are hopelessly lazy to clean up their rooms. However today it's abnormally messy. Sometimes I just want to be crazy, like maybe letting free and stop being a goody-two-shoes for a little while. But whatever, I'm not gonna be able to stand the clutter in the room and eventually clean it up tomorrow.

It's midnight and I'm not heading of to bed at this time. Be back tomorrow!

Earthquakes are unpredictable and scary.

2010-06-07T22:49:00.003+08:00

"When he kisses you, he isn't doing anything else. You're his whole universe, and the moment is eternal because he doesn't have any plans and isn't going anywhere. Just kissing you... it's overwhelming." -Unknown

Chemistry was difficult, and I sort of guessed many answers. Plus the air-conditioning in the examination room wasn't working and it was so stuffy in there. Also there were power-failures a couple of times which made my examination mood totally fall.

Last paper tomorrow, I'm crossing my fingers. BUT IT IS THE LAST PAPER MOREOVER IT'S MULTIPLE-CHOICE. I didn't really practice much but I did read through the notes. Plus it's not the extended paper therefore only core content so it should be easier. I hope.

Aunt is coming to Delhi tomorrow! I can't wait to see her :)

So long for now.

What you're looking for has been here the whole time.

2010-06-06T22:36:00.003+08:00

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever; the goal is to create something that will.' -Chuck Palahniuk

Chemistry tomorrow. I don't have that tip-top confidence in me but I'll make it. Crossing my fingers though. But I really want to get this over with. And then I'll look forward to getting my results in August.

I'm on a detoxification diet for today. After all that grease and fat I'd consumed yesterday, I'm not taking any chances. Therefore it's loads of green tea and honey and fruits for now. Feels good.

Short post for the night, turning in early for fresh start to a morning paper tomorrow.

Imagine a vast meadow with flowers in full bloom.

2010-06-06T18:47:00.002+08:00

With love.

2010-06-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

The restaurant was called 'Gung'

Isn't it interesting how they used the Korean drama serial's signature sign?

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

2010-06-05T23:16:00.004+08:00

"A thousand miles seems pretty far but they’ve got planes and trains and cars. I’d walk to you if I had no other way." -Unknown

Had Korean cuisine for lunch today. Or perhaps, lunch/dinner will be a better word. There's such thing as a breakfast/lunch- brunch, but no lunch/dinner? Linner or dunch? I'm making one up.

Koreans have a taste bud for greasy meat with a ton of fat slathered on top. Not forgetting the many appetizers they start with. Today there were more than ten bowls of appetizers and sauce on the table. And I also found out that Korean housewives are dominated by their husbands. Like their husbands' clothes and breakfast and shoes and whatnot must be in front of them when they get up in the morning for work. Therefore the women have got to wake up earlier to prepare all that. Since the men are the 'breadwinners' of the house, the women have to wait on them like kings. (Okay, so that's every guy's dream. Why don't all men go marry a Korean woman? Then they'll be fed and waited upon like gods.) The women have to bow to the men at home and clean up the dishes while the husband's reading the daily paper or watching television.

(I'm not being stereotypical, merely talking about MOST cases.)

Also, Korean men like to drink till their faces are as red as tomatoes and then they'll start shouting at their wives and some even beat them up. It's like the typical story of a meek woman under the wrath of a powerful, bad-tempered man. That's the sad story of a lot of Korean women.

But in this generation, women are as powerful as men, some maybe even more powerful.

Alright enough about Koreans. The meal today was appetizing however I was disappointed that there wasn't any dessert. The best part of a full-course meal is the dessert. My favourite, of course. ;) Maybe Korean cuisine doesn't include dessert? Or Koreans don't have a sweet bud?

I studied today, proud to say. Will be getting up early tomorrow yet again. My last few days of studying this month, I hope.

I can't wait to go home.

Not making it feel right.

2010-06-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

The place you've never been that feels like home.

2010-06-04T21:04:00.004+08:00

I finally realised how exhausting it is to pack boxes. It took me two whole hours just to clear out my bookshelf and pack the books by size into the boxes. That was just the novels. I still have clothes and bags and shoes. I was so tired after that couple of hours I just wanted to curl up on the bed and sleep.

I can't believe Mom had to pack the whole family's junk when we were posted here two years ago. I don't even want to think about next year when Dad's posting ends and we've gotta pack up everything in the house into little boxes which can amount up to more than a hundred in the end. And it'll take a couple of months for the boxes to reach home where we're waiting patiently. I don't want to think about it. It'll be a nightmare. When the boxes come, we've gotta check whether everything is still there and in good condition. Then, unpacking takes days and days. Organizing the new house at the beginning of next year will be hell.

On the bright side, I can't wait for the house to be renovated and refurnished. :)

Okay back to studies. I need to grind Chemistry into my head tomorrow morning. I need to.

Solace.

2010-06-03T23:22:00.000+08:00

"As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It’s not that we don’t want to, but so much has happened that we just can’t bring ourselves to believe anymore." -Unknown

Hung out with the girls today at Maggie's hood. :) Didn't do much except watched Gossip Girl for six hours straight.

Studied for an hour in the morning. It's Friday tomorrow, few more days to Chemistry and Biology papers. That'll be it. That will be all. That will be the end. I cannot wait.

Not forgetting that I'm very excited to go home. It'll be like life start afresh, almost.

I spent a couple of hours sorting out our humongous pile of DVDs which resulted in a backache. I have weak bones. That's impossible because I spent half my childhood downing four bottles of milk a day.

Gonna spend tomorrow studying, revising, packing, organising and crossing out tasks from my check-list. Whilst being online and blasting music of course.

Please bring yesterday back around.

2010-06-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

I want things to work out because I believe that we'll make it through this rain. It takes two hands to clap and I know for sure that you're the other hand. I need you to know that I believe in us and everything will be fine.

Every memory stretched reaches forever.

2010-06-02T21:45:00.006+08:00

"I want someone who will adore me so much that they cannot even walk past me without touching me in some way. I want someone who will worship me, even when I'm sitting around in fluffy slippers with no makeup on and hair scraped back." -Jane Green, Mr. Maybe

So an hour of Chemistry in the morning and that was it. But I'm confident now. The rest of day was uneventful, I just lazed around.

Things I do online when I'm bored and there's no one to talk to online:

1. Blog

2. Look at Tumblr quotes and pictures

3. Surf blogshops

4. Read gossip pages

5. Check out FML, Failblog and other websites like these

6. Pressing refresh on Facebook Home page waiting for people to update

7. Stalk people on Facebook, Tumblr and Blogger

I know, I don't have a life. But I need one.

I even had time to paint my nails candy-purple. Therefore I might arrange something with the girls tomorrow. I'm so bored, I need entertainment.

Going off to do more mundane things.

Give me hope.

2010-06-02T11:48:00.002+08:00

I dreamt that I was in too much of the holiday-mood and the next thing I knew, I was sitting in the examination hall with the Chemistry paper on my desk and my mind blank. I literally could not think of anything to write.

Therefore I am going to study NOW.

I want you to come in with the rain.

2010-06-01T23:54:00.001+08:00

Talk to the guy with the reasons why.

2010-06-01T20:11:00.004+08:00

"Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place. Maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was." -Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult

My iPod died halfway into my daily jog. So much for blasting music into my ears to block out the buzz of the world around me. But it did give me space in my head to think. Although for situations like these, there aren't really any solutions. What I really thought of was the past, present and the future. Sometimes I just can't express how I feel and somehow or the other, that isn't right.

I studied Chemistry for an hour this morning, although I was brain-dead half the time. Caught up with the drama Mom and I have been chasing and lazed around the whole afternoon. Finally dragged myself off the bed and headed to the park.

There was this fat Indian man who blew his nose on the ground and then wiped his hands on the wall. In full view of everyone and I was right next to him, about to enter the park. How gross is that. I was even more disgusted when he saw me looking at him and just stared right back at me.

Another thing about Indians: they stare way too much. As I'm running in the park, people are riding bicycles or jogging past me. When they're in front of me, they turn around and stare. They stare as if it's the only think left in the world to do and they stare as if they're pouring their sorry souls into my eyes. Especially when their on their bicycles, they ride and keep turning around to stare. A bad thought: hope they trip on a rock and fall off. Even the women. They walk into the park, see me jogging and open their huge eyes and look at me. I feel so... violated. Like I'm an animal in the zoo whom people come to watch. Haven't their parents ever taught them that it's rude to stare?

I'm off, it's six in the evening.

Cos' I'm waiting for you to be ready.

2010-06-01T12:39:00.003+08:00

So Delhi is notorious for discriminating against North-Easterns. Meaning Indian people with a tinge of Chinese features in them - small eyes and lighter skin. The North-Eastern women have it especially hard. They come here from the Nepal-Indian border to work for money to send back to their families back home.

When they arrive in Delhi, they realise that their dreams don't really come true. Here, they are treated as a 'lower-class', given dirty jobs and are treated as slaves. Most of the North-Eastern women are jeered upon as prostitutes and have people approach them asking how much they charge. Isn't that an awful insult? All because they aren't 'pure Indians'. Because they don't have huge eyes with pretty double eyelids, high cheekbones and a pointy nose.

You would be surprise how much they look like Chinese. And due to the constant arguments between India and China, it's no surprise that the Indians here look down on them. I read an article this morning in the newspaper saying that a lot of North Easterns go for surgery to look more North-Indian - with nice, fair skin and eyes that dazzle.

They were born like that. So why are they destroying their childhood beliefs? Why are they trying to erase the hint of Chinese blood in them? So what if they have small eyes and a slightly yellow skin? So what if their eyes aren't as huge or as bright as Aishwarya Rai's?

Not like any North-Eastern will read this post. I'm just feeling so beaten up that these women are succumbing to the norms of society. I know it may seem easy for me to say, because I'm not one of them nor am I from this country. But they should stand up for themselves. They should spread the word to their fellow North Eastern, saying that there's nothing to be afraid of in this infamous city. You fight for your rights and you work for what you get. Don't let society look down on you.

I don't even know how to end this post but, since I have a free day today, I shall read up for Chemistry. Once, just once.

Listen to the wind whispering in your ears.

2010-05-31T20:20:00.003+08:00

My first Bollywood film in the cinema in my two years in India:

KITES

However the main actress is Mexican, and she is gorgeous. The whole movie was in Hindi, except a little Spanish and English here and there. The English version is coming out in June, but some good 20 minutes of it shorter, therefore we opt to watch the original version.

I would rate this movie a 7/10. Unlike most Bollywood movies, this one didn't have those random dances in between. The story's very cliche but it's really tear-jerking. However, the movie was a little over top. Like the police cars and so many random people died, as if life is so easily taken away. And the story was not really developed properly. There were missing information in some parts. Nevertheless, it was worth watching. My first Bollywood movie, proud of it. :)

Went for a run in the morning and Kavita picked me up at noon and we met up with Maggie and Anmol for the movie. Now I'm home, and it's six in the evening.

Oh yes, the cinemas here don't have subtitles. Thus Kavita and Anmol were explaining to us what they said in Hindi throughout the movie. I mean, what kind of cinemas don't have subtitles? Even for English movies. They should totally insert subtitles. What if some people don't really catch English well?

It's shower-time. :)

Breaking glass with dynamites.

2010-05-30T22:48:00.004+08:00

"Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it." -Thaddeus Golas

My Sunday had been... somewhat ordinary. I spent the morning reading magazines and the daily newspaper, or specifically, the entertainment news. And the whole afternoon - NCIS Season 6. I'm still watching it now, right on Episode 10.

I'm tired but I get up at eight. I guess I already have a biological alarm clock to remind me that I'm still 'having exams'. Not that it matters, I still have a week. :)

For the next few days, this blog will be filled with photos (I hope). I have plans for the week, teehee. I will be pigging out, and regretting it later I suppose, I will be going crazy, I will be letting my hair down. Hell's gonna break loose. Well, somewhere there I guess.

Sunday posts: short and mundane.

(Now that I have ALL the time in the world, my blog posts are going to be so boring, you'll need a pillow to sleep on.)

Paint me rainbows that fill up the sky.

2010-05-29T17:17:00.004+08:00

Yesterday's dinner date:

(Lavinia's extremely untidy room)

__________________________________________________________________________________

Shopping @ Sarojini (favourite place of all time)

Say what you need to say.

2010-05-29T15:45:00.004+08:00

"You can be in a room with a hundred men, and not like any of them. Or you can be in a room with just one man, and he’s exactly the one you want." -My Girl

Dad's a real sweetheart. He accompanied me to Sarojini today and the previous Saturday. Under the scorching Indian sun, he trotted behind me while I picked out clothes and handed out money to me when I needed it. Plus he gives good opinions. Most importantly, I wouldn't get bullied by the shopkeepers because I have this mean, badass, guy standing behind me every time I buy clothes. :) My personal bodyguard. It takes an effort to get Dad to wake up in the morning but he doesn't let me go alone therefore he has to go with me. Mom hates the summer and walking in under the sun, even with the tempting clothes? Don't even think about it.

Retail therapy was awesome. Makes me happy and motivated. Not forgetting that I tell Dad that it helps me de-stress so I get amazing grades.

This weekend I'm staying home with my family. Gotta start packing clothes and books into the boxes. Off they go back home!

Yesterday was fun. Had a girl's night out with Lavi and Kavita. Spent the whole afternoon in Lavinia's living room watching Gossip Girl Season 3, going goo-goo over the clothes the gorgeous girls have and the hot guys. Then we had dinner at a Japanese restaurant. The food was average, not that delicious. Afterward we headed to a cafe for dessert. I had sinful chocolate to fill my already-almost-full stomach.

Got home and relaxed and enjoyed because it's the end of exams. I still can't believe I don't have to study every morning now. :) Except a couple of days before Chemistry Theory in June of course.

It's almost three in the afternoon, I'm going for a run soon.

Pictures up soon.

The story's never gonna end.

2010-05-29T12:30:00.005+08:00

Mattel should change the way their Barbie looks. I mean, there isn't such thing as a 39-18-33. How many girls have grown up playing with Barbie dolls? I bet every girl out there has combed Barbie's beautiful blonde hair and dressed her perfect little body with pretty clothes. I've always wondered why there isn't an average-sized Barbie.

Little girls now have tons of Barbies in their closets. Playing with such dolls give them an illusion like, "Oh, when I grow up, I'm gonna be like Barbie with the perfect body, beautiful hair, amazing clothes and a hot boyfriend like Ken." These girls will grow up looking up to Barbie as a 'role-model' and in their minds, they think all guys will want a girlfriend that looks like Barbie. Perfect and gorgeous. And what comes out of that as a result? They turn anorexic, they starve themselves to be 39-18-33. Which is technically not possibly in real life if you think about it.

So what message is Barbie sending to little girls out there? "Don't eat if you want to look as perfect as Barbie." Especially nowadays when the kids are so fortunate that they get whatever they want and are exposed to so many of these kinds of things. It's a different generation. Barbie probably dieted her whole life, or complained that her butt was too big or her thighs being too flabby.

Who defines perfect anyway? Not those skinny-minny models on the runway, not those top fashion designers or the beautiful Hollywood stars. We all have our flaws and that makes us perfect in our own ways.

Fret not if you weigh a little over the top, you're special in your own way. Don't let other perceptions affect the way you look at yourself. If you tell yourself you're beautiful, then you are.

This post is mundane. I'll be back to post after going out with Dad. :)

A man says from a sidewalk to a crowd.

2010-05-28T12:48:00.001+08:00

Now she's walking through the clouds.

2010-05-27T17:29:00.003+08:00

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -Unknown

I crashed as soon as I got home. My eye bags are as huge as pandas' and I need my beauty sleep to replenish myself. Two more final exams left but that's in another ten days therefore

IT'S THE (TEMPORARY) END OF EXAMS!!

I-am-so-excited. It's time to have fun. A few more weeks left in India so I'll enjoy myself to the fullest, leaving a couple of days before the last two exams to charge up. Not forgetting that I have to study at least an hour everyday for the Chemistry theory and Biology MCQ papers a week after June starts. But that's okay. What's important is that I now have time to sit back and relax.

I'm saying adios to Spanish. Not forgetting that I won't be seeing Physics nor History for the rest of my life. A great cause to celebrate.

It's also the last day of school for the rest of the school today. There's the Awards Ceremony tonight and I'm getting a prize, for Art Design & Sculpture. (I always get it for Art, nothing else.) So I'll have to be in school with Weihan before half past six. It's gonna be pretty boring, seeing people going up on stage one by one and applauding them - from Year 7 to 13.

Alright, I'm heading for a run before taking a shower to refresh myself for tonight. And I'll see you online because I have all the time in the world to go online because I AM FREE.

A very happy goodbye.

(Physics Theory paper killed me but that's okay. MCQ yesterday was good. Spanish Writing today was awesome, so much easier than the reading/writing. Thank goodness for options.)

The only one in the world you know that won't be home.

2010-05-25T22:18:00.005+08:00

"There's nothing more valuable than having someone in your life that reminds you of who you are." -Unknown

The past couple of days have been hell, and is going to continue till Thursday. I have the most exams packed together this week. Thus I have just logged in for a short update.

The worst is over though, three huge papers all at once. I was strangled by Spanish, Biology was alright but the huge topics that I concentrated on did not appear. At all. History was good. I had Chemistry MCQ today, which was kind of average, at least it wasn't difficult.

It's Physics MCQ tomorrow, and I just can't study for it. I mean, it's Physics. Do you see me ten years down the road wielding a mechanical equipment in my career? Or even as an engineer fixing machines or looking at the making of televisions and other electronic appliance? Well I certainly don't see myself like that. Physics is just not my thing. I'm more of a Biological person. I like the human body, not light rays or speed of cars. It just doesn't fascinate me. And you know if you want to excel in something, you have to first be interested in it? Well after two years of telling myself that I can do it in Physics if I try, I realise that I've been lying to myself the whole time. It's not me. So I'm prepared to get a C in Physics, or even failing it. No hopes.

I don't even know what's a Cathode Ray Oscilloscope, which is one of the major topic in the syllabus for tomorrow, much less know how it works.

Feeling better after a good rant. I'm going off to study for History - Russia from Tsar's rule to Stalin's. Tomorrow's also the last History paper. I am so excited. No more History after tomorrow, though I haven't decided whether to take in JC or not.

Bye.

When there's no light to break up the dark.

2010-05-25T00:21:00.000+08:00

Like kaleidoscope colours that cover the night sky.

2010-05-23T16:01:00.007+08:00

Yesterday was the worse morning I've ever experienced. With barely four hours of sleep the night before, I woke up with a blocked ear and a horrible sore throat. To add to the irritable morning, I had mosquito bites on my face. I was so peeved.

I went for a run to refresh myself after studying for an hour because the books were making my head nod off and I was falling into a slumber - lack of sleep. Well the day substantially got better, although I was exhausted. From the last day of school up till now, I haven't slept past eight in the morning. Achievement for someone who gets up in the afternoon most of the time with half the day wasted. However I am determined to sleep round the clock after my exams. I will pick a day, draw the blinds, snuggle on my bed and drown the world out for a whole day in dreamland.

It's a Sunday today, but it doesn't make a difference to me. I study even on the weekdays now, which is expected for someone sitting for final exams. Three humongous papers tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to that. Although I am waiting for these papers to get over with. Biology, Spanish and History. Boy, it's gonna be one long morning alright.

Spent three hours mugging up Biology after breakfast, continuing from last night. Sometimes I get so tired staring at the pages that I just doze for a few minutes.

Before I went out for dinner at some swanky Italian restaurant on Friday night, I was staring at my wardrobe. As far as I know, my wardrobe is bursting at its seams with some many clothes of different styles, shapes, colours, patterns. You name it, you get it. But I can never find anything to wear. Is it just me or is every girl in the same situation every time she prepares to go out? I guess it's a girl thing. As we get older, the time for us to prepare for a date or a simple outing gets longer too. I can spend a couple of hours just preparing. When I was younger, it was just "Oh just grab a shirt and put it on." and I'm good to go. It's different now, and I guess that's part of growing up. Well, what can I say? Girls are cool like that, hence the saying "Girls rule and boys drool." ;P

Right, I should get back to studying. I'll revise History again, spend another hour on Spanish and read Biology again tonight. Then I'll be set for the exams tomorrow, or so I hope.

Toodles.

(10 more papers left)

Memories are following me like a shadow now.

2010-05-20T22:22:00.000+08:00

Look inside my wild mind, not knowing what you'll find.

2010-05-19T22:51:00.008+08:00

"I was half in love with her by the time I sat down. That's the stupid thing about girls. Everytime they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you half fall in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can." -The Catcher In The Rye

The heat is suffocating. The hottest year in a hundred years, 2010 certainly keeps bringing surprises. The year's going by so quickly, it's hard to believe that it's been five months into the year. Time is certainly queer this way. Sometimes you feel that the day is dragging on so slowly even when the day barely just started. Other times you just find yourself slipping into bed at the end of the day, not noticing that the day's already gone by. What I think is that it's the way you look at it. If you tell yourself this week is going to pass by in a click of the fingers, then it will. In contrast, when you tell yourself that the week's passing like a snail, then it will. It all lies in the psychology of the mind.

Literature paper was good today. The empathy pieces asked were reasonably easy and asterisk question turned out to be good too. I screwed up on Maths Paper 4. It was meant to be as tough as cooked meat but it was simpler than Paper 2. However I was blatantly careless. Four marks flown away from my paper just like that. It will probably make a difference in my grade but I've gotten over it. Just like you said, get over it, move on, work harder and make up for it.

Biology practical tomorrow. I've memorized the tests, the parts of the flower, the leaf and the seed. I hope I can score well for this and push up my grade as a back-up if I mess up my theory paper.

A couple of weeks more till the exams are over. I'm dreaming of that day where I'll jump for joy and throw up my pens after the invigilator says "Time's up, pens down please." I'll probably get into a pile of trouble for doing that but hey, it's the end of studying (for a very short period of time) and exams! Gosh there are thought bubbles forming above my head right now. I shall stop day-dreaming of the future because it's still a long way. However considering how fast time's been passing by nowadays, I guess it won't hurt dreaming a little. :)

I'll settle on my bed with the air-conditioning (I want to salute whoever invented fans and air-conditioning) and read my novel. Almost at the end, another accomplishment.

I'll check in sometime soon.

I don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.

2010-05-16T23:32:00.004+08:00

"We're just dancing, singing, laughing, crying, living, dying, thriving, striving, walking, sleeping, stalking, playing, losing, winning, kissing, spinning, running. We're all just growing up." -Unknown

I am guilty.

I'm guilty of not upholding my promises to continue working hard. I'm guilty of going out on a Sunday when I am obliged to bury my head in the books. I'm guilty of almost sight-seeing today. I'm guilty of wasting away yet another day. I'm guilty of just saying and not taking action. I'm guilty of letting time slip past my fingers. I feel bad.

Had lunch in Old Delhi this afternoon. Throngs of people, crisp shouts of shop-keepers and the never-ending horns of cars. It makes me dizzy even thinking of the afternoon heat. We had lunch at this famous restaurant called "Karim". I'm not exactly a fan of spicy Indian curry with rotis and naans but the food was good. The environment... let's just say it wasn't exactly the cleanest place to eat in, but at least there was air-conditioning.

I realised how hard it is to walk on the streets. You have to conquer it, almost. Imagine weaving past tuktuks, trishaws, motorcycles and cars, trying not to come into close contact with the sweaty locals who reek of alcohol and hoping that the beggar will stop pulling on your sleeve and asking for food. Try looking out for animal faeces on the uneven ground and avoiding the lazy cows and dogs on the roads. It certainly is an experience you'll never get in Singapore.

I barely sat down and studied for three hours today. Reached home in the evening and went for a run. Well there's no exam tomorrow thus I WILL STUDY. I'm running out of time and I'll get jittery from this stress.

Photos up tomorrow. If I have time.

When the shiny stars overcrowd the dark night sky.

2010-05-15T22:46:00.002+08:00

Standing inside a hall of mirrors.

2010-05-14T22:43:00.004+08:00

THE WEATHER IS AWFUL.

It's a blasting 44 degrees and I think I'm going to melt. Last year was never as hot as this. It's global warming. I hate this weather. It makes me grumpy and annoyed and pissed off at the tiniest of things. I'm gonna have a melt down. I can feel my forehead getting wrinkly and scrunched up all the time. But I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be a grumpy old woman. Horrible, terrible weather. Not forgetting I feel extremely restless all the time. My bed draws me towards it in this weather.

And I've learnt to slap on sunscreen whenever I go out. Even for the shortest while. The sun here is glaring and intimidating, really. It totally makes your skin dry and you can literally feel your skin cracking like a hard-boiled egg. Yes and another thing, remind me to invest in a good sunscreen when I go back to Singapore.

What's wrong with the world now? Tons of terrorist attacks, natural disasters and crazy people killing kids. Plus I read about a maid who had sex with her employer's 12-year-old son. What the hell is the world becoming? Screwed up, that is. Protests taking place in Bangkok, terror attack in Jakarta, possible bomb-threats in Delhi, terrorist threats in USA. Everything's going wrong. And Mother Nature is being destroyed, global warming is killing us. Floods and earthquakes are endangering lives. It's just so sad to see the world we live in crashing down on us.

Anyway, English Paper 2 was good. :) My aim is an A* in addition to my course works which took me two years to complete to perfection.

Right, it's a weekend tomorrow. But guess what I'm going to be doing? Studying, go figure. Just as well, I haven't been studying of late. Gotta catch up and drill things into my almost-dying brain.

15 more papers to go.

Tonight I'm gonna fight till I see the sunlight.

2010-05-12T20:23:00.007+08:00

"Just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else." -Jimmy Eat World, The Middle

Three papers down, sixteen more to go. It's just the beginning of the exams and I'm already dreaming of the end. Parties and events lined up one after another, cos' it's the end of IGCSEs. I'll be a busy busy bee. One more month to go, one more month of hard work.

Physics Practical was alright, I didn't mess up this time on the electricity experiment, thank goodness. Had some problems on reflection and refraction but other than that, everything went well. History Paper 2 was so long. I attempted both Cold War questions and Russia during Tsar's regime. I didn't have enough time, although I completed the two-hour paper in a rush. My handwriting went from very neat and tidy to almost illegible. I guess that's History for everyone. Another two History papers coming up in the next two weeks.

It was Maths Paper 2 today. Today's paper was meant to be the easier of the two papers but it turned out to be one of the hardest Paper 2 I've ever attempted. I skipped so many questions in the beginning and went back to them afterwards. Spent a lot of time staring at the questions hoping answers will pop up of the paper. Nevertheless, I'm aiming for an A for this paper. There's still Maths Paper 4 next week and I doubt it's going to be easier than this.

So I'm feeling great, except I've got to push myself to continue studying. I can feel myself letting go of the knowledge from the past week of studying, Bio, Chem, Physics, Literature nonetheless. Therefore I've got to start revising again. I'll start right away, after dinner.

I saw this in the newspaper yesterday. So for the past two years I've been breathing air filled with nitrogen dioxide and particulate matter. Thus I am totally against Daddy extending his post here. After this report? No way. He had a lung infection the beginning of the year and well, the air here isn't fantastic for recuperating.

It feels like a sauna outside today, temperature's above forty. I bet the house is at least three degrees cooler than the outside. Nevertheless, I went for a run two hours back and the air was horrible. Not that I've just realised. It's like taking in deep breaths of dry, hot and dusty air. Filled with nitrogen dioxide and particulate matter. To add on to the heat, the sun was scorching. Thank goodness I've got cilia in my nostrils to trap dust matter and waft them to the back of the nose so that they don't reach into the lungs.

Not forgetting that nitrogen dioxide is highly toxic and can react with oxygen in the air and nitric acid to form acid rain. It comes from burning of fuels in air from power stations and vehicle emissions. I've studied. :)

This article was something about banning fuel release from cars in Delhi. Due to Commonwealth Games coming up in October here, they want to make this place perfect. Sorry, you have less than half a year to improve conditions in Delhi. I shall not comment and raise issues. (But you know what I'm going to say.)

Alright, I'm hungry and I shall go eat my dinner. There's baked salmon tonight. :)

Next exam is on Friday, English Language. I guess there's nothing to prepare for that.

Now I can't see my dreams nor the future.

2010-05-10T20:53:00.006+08:00

"When things happen in real life, extraordinary things, there's no music, there's no dah-dah-dah-daaahhs, there's no close ups, no dramatic camera angles. Nothing happens. Nothing stops, the rest of the world goes on." -Unknown

Physics Practical exam at ten in the morning tomorrow. After that another two hours of sitting in the examination hall in pin-drop silence except the shuffling of papers and quick scribbling of pens on papers. I've read through the whole History syllabus at least four times, I hope that's enough.

I'll start feeling nervous tonight, and probably stay up the whole night, turning on the bed, thinking and thinking and thinking. I hate sleepless nights.

Hope everything goes well tomorrow.

It only happens once in a lifetime.

2010-05-07T20:39:00.005+08:00

"The end of a wedding reception is always so depressing. And only the bride and groom are spared, jetting off into the sunset while the rest of us wake up the next morning to just another day." -Sarah Dessen, This Lullaby

Amidst the flutter of past papers and worksheets, the flipping of the pages in the notebooks filled with scrawly handwriting, the week's coming to an end. I would say I'm thankful because I'm actually looking forward to the exams. Although you'll say that three hours of studying everyday makes no difference to my already failing grades. Or worse, could pull them further down.

I get up early, start studying early and then start dozing off in the afternoon and eventually the bed attracts me towards it. It's so tempting, staring at the bed while I study, hearing it call out to me. Not to forget, whenever I open the files and notebooks, my brain switches to 'Idle' mode and I find myself shutting down. And I've realised something. Staring at an empty, plain, white wall is even more interesting than reading the boring blue words in my tiny neat handwriting. Maybe it's just me...

I swear, being at home all day just seeps the energy out of me. I hear myself dragging my feet behind me as I walk to the kitchen and back to my room. I swirl aimlessly in my chair and just stare into space and daydream of god-knows-what. Then I go for a run to perk myself up. I feel sort of energized after a run and sweating it out.

I actually rather go to school now. At least in school I won't eat so much and I'll have activities to keep myself awake. However staying at home does make me study more, I guess. In school Maggie's always there to distract me and make me laugh, or Lavi will be doing her weird tricks and Kavita or Mallika might just start a hot fiery gossip session.

I had a ton of things to write in my mind when I clicked on Blogger Dashboard, but now my brain isn't sending the neurotransmitters to my fingers on the keyboard, which are called the effectors. :) Biology, up there in my head. Squashed with the Chemistry, History, Spanish, Literature and Maths.

I've already started planning what to do after the exams with my mates before we all leave. 2 years, and everyone's going their separate ways. It's actually hard to say goodbye, but I shall not touch on that topic till later.

Oh yes, I won't say my Spanish orals were a disaster, but I doubt I did very well either. One major mistake, I quoted my candidate number wrongly. And the teacher had already started recording so I can't go, "Oh crap wrong candidate number!!!!" halfway through right. Nevertheless, I was glad I recited my short speech perfectly. So now I'm counting on my Listening, Writing and Reading papers to score at least a B. :)

The weather's a little weird today. The whole week has been drastically hot and today the temperature dropped to 36 degrees. It had always been above 40 the whole time and today it fell. Just like that. And today when I was jogging, the breeze was so cooling, I almost enjoyed it if not for the dust and sand it picked up which made my eyes hurt.

Right, so now I am going to relax. I'll get up early tomorrow to continue with the adventures of studying. Plus I'm going to the market with Mom. Hope the weather will continue to be cooling tomorrow.

I shall come back to post soon.

Count down to first exam: 3 days

The sun rolling high through the sapphire sky.

2010-05-05T00:09:00.001+08:00

But I lost all control and I need you now.

2010-05-02T22:49:00.006+08:00

“What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets... your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows... and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does.” -Unknown

I got side-tracked, first by Facebook, then by Tumblr quotes and finally, I succumbed to temptation and clicked on Blogger. My IGCSE Orals are tomorrow and my Spanish notebook is with Lavinia. The only thing I can do now is to just head to school earlier than my scheduled timing tomorrow to take the book and study in the mean time. While counting down to doomsday.

It's not that bad actually. I'll just sit down, blank out and babble non-stop to the examiner, my eyes wandering and finally settling on the recorder placed on the table between us. I'll be twisting my skirt out of habit (something I haven't gotten over since I was a toddler) and nervousness. And after an antagonizing fifteen minutes or less, that part of my life will be over. Then I'll go home and mug up Treaty of Versailles, Russia and Cold War.

Today is deemed as a pretty bad day, seeing that I got up as early as eight in the morning and studied for History till noon. Then I literally slacked. Oh, I slacked alright. I took a one hour nap and then headed for a run at the park opposite. It was six in the evening by then. After dinner I eventually dragged myself to the chair and read up the Spanish textbook, writing some notes for tomorrow.

And then I got distracted. Till now.

It was Bidhya's last day working with us yesterday. I'm gonna miss her smile and how she always greets us warmly whenever she comes to do the housework.

I suppose everyone's heard of the terror attacks in New Delhi. Damn, I hope nothing happens because I truly want to get the IGCSEs over with. Plus I need to shop. Sarojini Nagar was bombed in 2004 and now the police are on high alert there. I need to de-stress and to do that I need to go there. Need to need to need to.

I shall get back to studying. Bye.

You are my Manhattan from the sky.

2010-05-01T11:55:00.013+08:00

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." -The Wonder Years

Year 11 (2009-2010)

The memories we will never forget.

Group photo without Dumisa who's in South Africa.

I'll especially miss our funky moments.

Bodikana Dijeng the tall black dude.

He's taller than me even when he's sitting down.

Kavita who looks a little too Asian here.

Rachita, my triple Science and Art buddy.

Christina, the girl who never fails to make everything sound wrong.

Lavinia, well she's Lavinia, words can't really describe her.

Janaki and Anmol: People who wouldn't forgive me for deleting Taptap off my iPhone.

Maggie who never fails to make me smile.

Lavinia up to her weird antics again.

We're a Benetton ad, you know, all races. :) Asian, Africa, Indian, Caucasian!!

Nerd and geek.

My favourite picture of us.

Maggie's failed hearts.

Maggie again, who's in love with my bottle.

Janaki trying but failing at the Batman pose.

Our last Art lesson where we made this masterpiece.

Finally, we come to 30 April - last day of school and counting down to the first exam:

This is Augustine, he is Weihan's best friend and absolutely adorable. I know he's gonna grow up to be a handsome young man. The three of us are in love with him. :)

(It creeps him out a little.)

Last lesson: Spanish, where I got bored.

Mallika Singh, someone I will never forget, not in a thousand years.

Janaki: a little messed up with her half Indian-half Philippino blood.

We were playing Doctor Twist early in the morning.

All four houses.

My red metal locker, gonna miss it.

Lavinia was trying to deck Florence (pull her pants down)

I told you, that's what she does - her crazy tricks.

Manly or what?

Hobbits smoking weed.

They all wanna be like me. :)

Kavita: my Asian buddy who speaks speaks broken Chinese.

Anmol: mad cute.

I could share my world with you.

2010-04-30T23:33:00.003+08:00

"There are millions of people in this world, but in the end it all comes down to one." -Crazy/Beautiful

It's the last day of April, the last day of school. The last time I'll open my red metal locker, the last time I'll be walking down that flight of stairs to the classrooms. It'll be the last time we'll sit in the canteen stealing food during lunch and the last time chilling in the classrooms and making so much noise the teachers have to come in and shout at us.

I never thought I'd feel like this. (reminds me of the Keri Hilson song, one of my favourite) I never thought I'd miss my friends when I leave. When I came I reminded myself not to get too attached because I'll be leaving in a couple of years and I know I'm not good at departures. But I am human and like everyone else, I love my friends. It doesn't matter if we've only spent a short two years together, we still got attached. Because I'll miss everything. Hell, I'll even miss the ugly school building and the not-so-friendly cleaners.

So last days give me emotions, and I guess I'm sort of emotional in that way. I looked out the car window today on the way home from school and I thought, "Hey, I'm gonna miss all these. Even if they are pretty awful." Things change and well, this is what changed. My opinion of India... well is still kind of the same except that I'll miss it. Not like I'll cry my eyes out and beg to come back but I won't say I hate this place as much as I did when I first set foot onto this foreign land.

I shall leave goodbyes to the end. I shall say my final goodbyes after our last exam. When I'm really leaving, when I'm really getting out of a place I first hated, then disliked but have grown to adapt to.

Not to forget that today is the last day of school, but not the last day we'll be seeing each other. We still have a month of hard-core exams to catch up on, and to mug hard for. Cos' we'll throw a huge post-IGCSE party, and finally be able to kiss IGCSE's ass goodbye. We'll burn our books and tear our notes. I'm counting down to that. I want the IGCSEs to be over but I don't want it to come, what irony indeed.

But for now, for the rest of the month, I gotta mug. I gotta mug till I have huge panda eyes, I gotta mug till I can't go a minute without reciting a maths or chemistry formula. I feel that I'm procrastinating but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I've been studying pretty hard these few weeks, except for the occasional slacks and 'I-don't-feel-like-studying' days.

Something random: it hasn't rained since 2010 started and the first downpour was yesterday.

I just ate two slices of Dominos Pizza and a couple of garlic breadsticks. It's midnight, how sinful.

We took photos on the last week of school and I'll be putting them up soon. :) But for now I'm exhausted and I'm going off to bed. Going to school in the morning to take my Spanish notebook to study for orals because I very carelessly left them in my locker when the orals are on Monday.

I really need retail therapy but there are terrorist attacks and bomb threats these couple of weeks. Last weekend a shopping mall was evacuated because there was a bomb threat. How awful. Dadd's being like any other paranoid father and not letting me out. Well I have to get over it. I'll use this time to study instead I hope.

Goodnight.

Countdown to IGCSE Spanish Orals: 2 days

Countdown to IGCSE Physics Practical and History Paper 1: 10 days

It still feels just like a dream.

2010-04-18T23:55:00.004+08:00

Everything still seems so surreal. I get up every morning and repeatedly ask myself whether the past few days were just a dream. That she's still here. Life's so fragile. You never know when the people you love might leave you next. I looked through all our photos from 2000 and the memories flooded my head. I miss you Karyn and I hope you're happy wherever you are right now. It's not easy for everyone who loved her but we must be strong. Be strong for the sweet little angel who's always living in our hearts.

For now,

IT'S MY IGCSE ART & DESIGN EXAM TOMORROW.

Four hours on Monday and another four on Tuesday. And after Tuesday, no more Art for the rest of my life if I can help it.

Goodbye.

Rest in peace, always missed.

2010-04-16T23:37:00.012+08:00

Karyn Yap Jia Ling

31 August 1995 - 16 April 2010

50 things I miss about you:

1. I will miss your cuteness.

2. I will miss your lame humour.

3. I will miss your thin fly-away hair.

4. I will miss your tiny figure.

5. I will miss your stick-thin body.

6. I will miss your vulgarities.

7. I will miss your laughter.

8. I will miss your round face.

9. I will miss your double chin.

10. I will miss your love for your favourite colour pink.

11. I will miss your love for pigs.

12. I will miss hearing your sweet voice.

13. I will miss your happy smile.

14. I will miss your grumpy expressions.

15. I will miss pissing you off.

16. I will miss you calling me 'Na'.

17. I will miss your tiny Kipling bagpacks.

18. I will miss your love for eating dirty roadside stall foods.

19. I will miss your mad skills of cooking for such a tiny girl.

20. I will miss teasing you.

21. I will miss your vanity.

22. I will miss your love for make-up.

23. I will miss the way you call Kelly 'Jiiiiiiie' when you're annoyed with her.

24. I will miss the way you eat.

25. I will miss bushy eyebrows.

26. I will miss your small eyes.

27. I will miss your button nose which you sometimes push up to look like a pig.

28. I will miss your mole at the secret spot no one knows except for me and Kelly.

29. I will miss your weird music taste.

30. I will miss the way you hate studies and rather be a chef.

31. I will miss the way your teeth shine when you smile.

32. I will miss how all your shirts are pink.

33. I will miss you eating your medicine everyday even when we're not at home.

34. I will miss how you flirt with everyone.

35. I will miss your squeaky voice when you want to ask for something.

36. I will miss holding your small hand in my abnormally huge one.

37. I will miss how you order so much food and not finish it in the end.

38. I will miss the way you ask your parents to carry you when you're tired.

39. I will miss how light you are.

40. I will miss carrying you.

41. I will miss the first time we met in 10 years ago in Jakarta.

42. I will miss the 3 years we spent together in Jakarta.

43. I will miss that short amount of time when you lived in Singapore and went to JPS with us.

44. I will miss that period of time when you were in Laos and complaining of ghosts in your house.

45. I will miss last June when we went to visit you in Jakarta and you showed me around enthusiastically.

46. I will miss the last holiday we had together last December in Bangkok where we had so much fun.

47. I will miss you helping me bargain with the shop keepers in Bangkok for cheaper deals.

48. I will miss encouraging you to buy new clothes.

49. I will miss how everyone loves you when they see you the first time.

50. I will miss treating you like a little sister.

I wasn't there with you when you left. The last time we met was in Singapore at the beginning of March when you came for my grandfather's funeral. I remember the day when you left to go back to Jakarta, I gave you a very tight hug and told you to take care and have fun in school in Jakarta. We were gonna go on another holiday together in June this year. I miss you Karyn.

I remember meeting you and your family in 2000. I'd been in Jakarta for a year at that time. You guys came and my life changed. I don't know what I would've done without you and Kelly being there in my life. So it's been 10 years. 10 years since we've known each other. 10 years of games, fun, laughter, joy, quarrels, fights, tears, pain, getting scolded and getting injured. 10 years of the me and Kelly teasing you and Weihan cos' you guys were the younger ones. 10 years of saying that you and Weihan will get married in the end. Remember when Weihan walked in on you in the toilet like 5 years ago? We tricked the both of you by saying that Weihan has to marry you know that he's seen you pee. I know now we're all more mature and we know better than that, the teases still go on. I miss that. The four of us always stuck together at family or official events for the past 10 years. No matter how long we hadn't seen each other, we'll always start clicking and connecting immediately when we meet. Now that you're gone, we'll always be incomplete. But you'll always be in our hearts.

You were like a little sister to me. I was always protective over you although we bullied you sometimes. Nevertheless, you know that we love you deep down.

It felt like a dream when I heard of the news. It felt as if you never left us. It felt as if you were still in Jakarta with your family. But Kelly's right, wherever you are, you're not suffering anymore and I know that there's someone looking after you right now.

I know that you're up there cooking your favourite dishes and not doing homework. I know for sure that you're watching over us, protecting us. I'll never forget you cos' you'll always live in my heart. It'll be like you never left at all. We have so many memories together and that's not easy to come by. I'll always cherish the times we had together.

I love you.

Rest in peace Karyn, you'll always be missed dearly.

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true.
You're the one that I'll always miss,
never thought it would feel like this.
I'll be there for you,
no matter what you're goin' through,
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you
I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
- No Secrets, I'll Remember You

Huge fluffy teddy-bears and wide-eyed dolls.

2010-04-11T22:38:00.005+08:00

I decided to clock in while waiting for my dinner to digest before hitting the showers. Some old superstition claims that bathing with a full stomach will make your stomach bloated which equals to one word all girls fear: fat.

It's been almost two weeks since I'd updated. My hiatus status was fairly well stuck to. Except girlfriend was right, not going online, not going on Facebook, not coming to blog, doesn't mean that I'm studying or preparing for my finals. Instead, all these oaths and rules I've come up with to follow, are just measures to make myself feel better. To tell myself that I'd stuck to my promise of not being distracted even when my results come out drastic in August. To comfort myself when I get back horrible results and to tell myself that I'd studied and it was just my luck to get back these kind of results.

So ask me, how is my revision coming along? One word: unprepared. When I open my books and read through the notes so ever thoroughly, my head nods off and my eyelids droop. Nothing seems to be etched into my mind. Sometimes I want to take my brain out, carve out the notes and important points onto it and put it back into my head. Or rather, I wished my brain had a 320GB memory space to be filled up with studies and lessons and notes and points - all in soft copy.

Right now, I feel that my life isn't going to get me anywhere. Since young I've always been so confident of my results, of my education. I've had ambitions that I'd want to work hard for. I've had dreams that I want to come true. I've breezed through my past education and now it's catching up with me. Now I'm suffocating from the tremendous pressure and in a month, my finals are starting. And that will last for a month. It's stressful to think of how hard I should be studying and what my results will come out to be when it is released in August. I don't want my parents to get my results and call me up to tell me the bad news with a sour tone in their voices. I want them to be bursting with happiness with a tinge of excitement in their voices. I want them to be proud of me.

My parents don't stress me out and maybe that's the reason I've not been pushing myself hard enough. I work best under pressure and I need someone to be constantly reminding me of how I wouldn't want terrible results in August and I'd better work hard for it now. Better to suffer for a couple of months than to suffer the rest of my life. I want someone to be breathing down my neck 24/7 and telling me that I should be studying and not wasting my time.

So I should be revising now but instead I came to blog. And throughout the weekend I've only studied a few pathetic hours. I feel like slapping myself and telling myself to wake up and stop wasting my time.

Yes, just a couple of months and I'll be free. However life never stops and lessons go on. It's not that I'll give up on my studies right after June but I'll relax a little after that. Not that I'm not already relaxing right now. I hate the way I'm putting my future on the threadline. Hell, I hate myself for being so pathetically useless right now.

On a lighter note, there are so much more greater things in life to live for. I have you, my girlfriends, my sisters, my babes, my family and not to forget, shopping and the other physical attractions, including amazing food. I shall stop putting myself down and really do what I'm supposed to do.

I went shopping yesterday and came back with a pirate's loot. :) Which made me happy. Retail therapy will cheer me up fo sho. Not to forget our long aimless talks and the occasional chats with my girls.

For now, I need to start revising more. I hope things are better on the other side. :)

First, I'm heading for the bathroom.

Back to hiatus.

Official: Hiatus

2010-03-24T22:27:00.004+08:00

IT'S OFFICIAL: I AM GOING ON HIATUS.

Alright I will not be checking in very often but I'll pop by to say 'hi' once a week or so. This will probably go on till the end of the IGCSEs, which I am so not looking forward to. But life goes on and I still have to get it over with in the end. I'm gonna run my last mile and finish the race (which takes place in May-June)! I'm gonna miss you guys, take care and all the best for your O Levels as well.

"Driving south 'round midnight

Man I must have been insane

Driving south 'round midnight

In a howling hurricane"

- Driving South by Stone Roses

And I don't wanna miss a thing.

2010-03-24T20:17:00.007+08:00

She still remembers the moment she fell in love with him. It was near the end of their senior year of high school.
One night he called her up and asked her for a date. She heard the nervousness in his voice, so she reassuringly said, "I'd love to. What do you want to do?"
"Go to the movies," he said hopefully.
"What would you like to see?" she asked.
While considering the options, the real answer slipped out, "You."

-Rob Gilbert as cited in Bits and Pieces

I took that story from Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul. I thought it was cute. :) So the first day of school was normal. I mean, it actually felt like the holidays never even started, much less ended. Except for the morning I stepped into the classroom and everyone was there and screaming and shouting and being excited to see each other again. Then the rest of the day got monotonous like any other school day.

After school, stayed back a couple of hours for Art. I'm almost halfway done with Prep 2.

Alright I have to go, urgently. I'm going to study Biology. :) Like you.

Flipping the calender and counting down to the day.

2010-03-23T22:38:00.003+08:00

"You're not scared you'll miss people. You're scared that things won't work out like they do in the movies and you'll end up missing people." -Unknown

It's past 8 and there's school tomorrow. I am not looking forward to studying, honestly. I'm not ready for that yet. I'm not ready to run till my lungs burst in the context of studying. I'm certainly not ready to face books and more books everyday. I sound like a slacker who only goes online and idles around the whole day without studying. Maybe that's why my results sucked. I still haven't gotten over that.

Not to forget, there's Art stay-back tomorrow as well. Great, just great, another huge stress to add to my huge pile of pressure.

Went for yoga just now, came back feeling refreshed whatsoever.

Had dinner and I'm about to go take a shower. There won't be time for yoga tomorrow due to stay-back.

I hate my life currently.

Time and distance make the difference.

2010-03-23T15:55:00.006+08:00

It's the 23rd of March 2010, and I took some photos around the house to commemorate this day.

Our front door. (Mom decorated the glass windows with Glass Deco in her free time)

The garden.

Ground Floor is ours.

The school opposite my house.

Front gate towards the house.

The road, my house is on the right.

The other side of the road.

The two storeys occupied by the landlord and his brother above us.

The garden next to the school, opposite.

Our driveway from the second gate.

TWO WHOLE YEARS IN NEW DELHI.

That's like 730 days.

I shall not preach about how much everything has changed since two years ago on this day. I shall not mention the farewell party I had and the airport send-off where I cried my eyes out. I shall not remind you that I also cried on my first day in Delhi when everything was a whirl and the house we stayed in didn't feel like home. I shall not reminisce that I hated this place and how I would do anything to get out of here. I shall not repeat that life is mega boring here and there is barely anything to do.

However I would like to preach about how I've gotten used to life in New Delhi. I shall mention that I've started to like it here although I still very much want to return home. I shall remind you that I will miss everything here when the posting ends. I shall reminisce that I love my room with my huge bed and comfy pillows. I shall repeat that it's not as boring here as before because I go for yoga, go shopping, watch movies and party with my pals.

So basically it's not like I detest it here, though I pretty much want to go back home to Singapore. But these two years had been fruitful, had the ups and downs, fun and laughter, tears and sadness. And it's like detoxification, healthy lifestyle, here because I barely eat any of the junk food that is oh-so accessible in Singapore. I still miss everything back home, my brother, my babes, my friends and my relatives. Not forgetting the good food.

And if I hadn't come here, everything would not have happened and I don't know what might have taken place if I had stayed in Singapore. I wouldn't have met my awesome friends, I wouldn't have known the meaning of true friends and everything would have been so different. Most importantly, we wouldn't have started if I hadn't come here.

I'm thankful for this.

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on.

2010-03-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

Overdue photos from Saturday's outing, where I bought a ton of books.

We were at KFC. :)

By the way, popcorn chicken just came out here in India's KFC. How fast huh?!

Love my heart all busted up.

2010-03-22T23:56:00.003+08:00

I know it sounds weird but I like to eat the cake batter like that.

Disfigured.

Burnt but tasty. :)

Can't believe that I'm the fool again.

2010-03-22T22:45:00.006+08:00

"Some things don’t last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times." -Unknown

I baked today. Okay okay, I cheated. By using the ready-made flour. BUT that was only because Mom said if I wanted to bake, I have to use the ready-made flour cos' it's almost expiring and I shouldn't waste. I'm merely being a good girl. I made muffins. Not to forget with chocolate chips - you know I can't live without that.

They turned out really tasty, except the top was burnt, I have no idea why. I have pictures but I'm a little shy cos' they didn't turn out good-looking. Nevertheless, they were yum. Thus the phrase, 'Don't judge a book by its cover.'

I'll DHL/Fedex (which ever is faster) some to you if you want. :)

Went for art in school for a couple of hours this afternoon. I was not happy. Not only was the work I spent working on for a few hours at home criticised, I had to redo some parts. And she wants us to go back tomorrow to work more. I'm going to be a rebel and stay at home. I'll work at home rather than face the witch. (Joke: instead of the White Witch, she's the Brown Witch. Sorry, racist comments but then I'll be the Yellow one if that's the case teehee.)

In school people are just racist. And they don't mind even so. We're sort of the close-knitted, multiracial group. My group consists of Indians and Caucasians and Negros and one Yellow - me. :) We make racist comments about one another but they're all jokes and just jokes. So I don't think anyone minds.

Summer is here and I'm so glad. Although it can get really hot, I like it way better now than winter. Winter makes people depressed and sad. The cold bites and the chill can kill.

I went jogging with Daddy after baking. We ran ten rounds plus another round of walking. I feel refreshed and reenergized. And I'm proud to say I wore FBTs to run at the park. Everyone was staring and these old women were like whispering to each other about my running shorts. Well, in their faces, like I give a damn. I will wear whatever I want and whatever I please.

Although the youngsters in the malls and stuff, wear shorts now. When I first came, it was the middle of summer and they all wore jeans. Like hello, weather alert? I know I shouldn't be criticising Indian culture and traditions but they do realise that we're in the twenty-first century. However, now more and more people are sporting shorts. Even in the newspapers, they introduce shorts and dresses for the famous Indian summer. They're trying to modernize themselves but there are, of course, still exceptions. It does some time to make the older generation come to terms with the fact that the younger generations want some change and freedom to dress in whatever they like.

I did an argumentative essay about this once, if I remember correctly.

Alright, I'm going to take a late-night shower. Tomorrow marks the end of Spring Break. I'm still in the holiday mood. Although my holiday hasn't been much of a holiday, what with all the revision and art prep sheets.

I hope you had a great day on your first day of school. :)

All I know is... you're beautiful.

2010-03-21T20:23:00.008+08:00

Favourite Quotes:

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful."

Landon: Do you love me?
(she nods)
Landon: Will you do something for me, then?
Jamie: Anything.
Landon: Will you marry me?
(Jamie smiles and kisses him)

Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel.

Landon: Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I'll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it.

Landon: I'm sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.

I watched A Walk To Remember yesterday night, alone in my bedroom, silent except for the tears streaming down my face and the occasionally sniffs. I love this movie and even if I'd watched it a million times, I'll still be touched by it.

Love is such an amazing thing. It can change people, it can create miracles. Mandy Moore is so pretty and Shane West looks good himself too. Nicholas Sparks' books are amazing when produced into a movie. It's one good romance film and I can't wait to watch Dear John and The Last Song (though I'm not a fan of the lead actress). The Notebook is also another awesome movie that's worth watching, but remember to put a box of tissue in front of you.

I know you think the movie's cliche, but aren't all love stories? The story line will always be the same, the plot will always be this boring but isn't that what we all want to see?

I really slacked the whole day, and that means I wasted the whole weekend. Nevertheless, I'm pulling up my socks and tomorrow: NO MORE LAZING.

(If you like sappy romance films, watch it.)

We were never meant to say goodbye.

2010-03-20T23:12:00.006+08:00

It's Saturday and Spring Break is coming to an end in a few days. Last Friday when school ended for the holidays, I looked at the calender and thought that I was going to have such a long holiday, I wouldn't even know how to spend it. Now, it feels as if time was messing around with my head and in a few days, school will be starting. Then it'll be time to sit down, really 'smell the coffee' (as the art teacher always says) and get on with schoolwork, homework, tests and revision.

And in a couple of months, hell will let loose. The finals will start and I doubt I'll be coming online, let alone blog. However I shall sneak a peek at my hotmail occasionally lest it bursts at the seams.

I'm tired and I don't feel really good. Lazing on my bed with the tablet on my lap and my huge comfy pillow behind my back. I'm ignoring the fact that I am being exposed to cancer with the heat radiation coming from the tablet.

I splurged on books today and it feels good. Not the splurging part but the fact that I spent on books instead of 'useless' things like clothes. Soon I won't have enough space on my shelf to fit all my novels and books. However, I don't have a solution to that. I'll think about it when I get there.

My eyelids are fluttering and I guess I'll be sleeping early tonight. I guess. No promises though. Tomorrow I shall get up early to plan my Prep 2 and study a bit.

Not proud to say that I have art on Monday afternoon for two hours and then I'll head for yoga. I'll be exhausted.

I shall read my book now.

Later.

I want it all.

2010-03-19T23:25:00.003+08:00

If I could eat without getting fat or falling ill...

Because I promised I would.

2010-03-19T22:57:00.001+08:00

"Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you." -Unknown

Someone will always be there forever.

2010-03-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

I WANT.

And all that I can see is a building burning.

2010-03-17T22:15:00.007+08:00

Alice in Wonderland 3D with Kavita (and Weihan) yesterday

(spot the perv staring at the back)

At 10am the mall was totally empty.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Went for a jog at the park yesterday and Mom snapped photos in. Sorry she's a 'mamarazzi'.

Totally reminded me of Alice in Wonderland.

How different everything would have been.

2010-03-17T20:05:00.003+08:00

"Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth." -Martin H. Fischer

I don't want to fail my IGCSEs. All this talk about wanting to study hard is not really rubbing off on me. Some days I have that motivation, some days I just wanna give up. I barely scrape through and I feel that this isn't getting me anywhere. Or will get me nowhere. I want to do it for myself, I want to do it for my parents, I want to do it for you.

Easier said than done.

I still have tons to revise. Chem is down, I did Bio today but I'm not confident. I still have Spanish, Literature, Physics and Maths. The holidays are ending in exactly a week. I need to grind my teeth and bear with this. I keep telling myself, "Three more months and this will all be over." It just keeps playing in my head.

I WANT TO EXCEL.

Went to school as early as 9am today for Art. I'm almost finished with Prep 1. I have a month to complete all four prep sheets. One almost down, three more to go. How awesome. Got home after noon and had lunch before painting the background for the first prep sheet which took me an hour. I'm so sick and tired of it. Yet again, that phrase plays in my head. Then I got down to Biology. An hour to revise notes and whatnot. Another hour or so to complete the 2003 and 2004 IGCSE MCQ papers.

I'm going jogging with dad at the park opposite our house. Photos will be up later!

(Watched Alice in Wonderland yesterday, it wasn't as amazing as I'd expected it to be.)

Be my other half.

2010-03-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess.

2010-03-15T23:14:00.004+08:00

"Anything you truly want must be worth fighting for." -Ugly Betty

Caught Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief today at the mall with Weihan. Do I need to mention that Logan Lerman is H-O-T? The movie is good, it's so... mythical. Something like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Needless to say, I hope the other novels in the series are going to be made into movies as well. It's making me interested in Greek gods and Demigods. Amazing.

After the movie, Mom accompanied me to alter my clothes at C-Block market.

I felt very restless after that but I made myself read through my History textbook. I covered The Cold War in an hour or so. Extremely tired but I headed out for yoga afterwards.

Got home and had dinner before taking a shower and coming online.

Alright, I'm watching Alice in Wonderland 3D with Lavinia and Kavita early in the morning tomorrow. I hope you have fun tomorrow too. :)

When I see you smile, I can face the world.

2010-03-13T21:33:00.006+08:00

"What if Prince Charming never showed up? Would Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever? Or would she have eventually woke up, spit out the apple, gotten a job, a healthcare package and a baby from her local neighborhood sperm bank? I couldn't help but wonder inside every confident, driven, single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?" -Sex & The City

Three hours of studying did me no justice. I know that nothing was going in but I forced myself to continue reading and skimming my notes.

I'm starving, KFC's on the way and I'm gonna binge till I die of fatness. Life is not fair at all. Why can't we eat without getting fat or falling sick?

I want to live somewhere where that applies. Unfortunately that's a wish I will never ever get, unless I stumble across a magic lamp and the genie grants me three wishes.

I've always wondered what I would wish for if I'd gotten three wishes. Would I ask for good health? Good results? Happiness? Love? Money? Food? Perfection? I've never come to a conclusion. But this is what I would have wished for: a million wishes. That'll be a never-ending list of wishes that could be fulfilled whenever and wherever. I wonder if the genie would allow that? Though I'll never find out...

So I stayed home the whole Saturday, rotting away. Read magazines and fashion trends. Painted my nails on an urge of vanity. Called Aizhen who was at camp and was still allowed to talk on the phone for an hour. Then Elycia whom we gossiped and bitched for almost two hours. I was dead tired by then and Mom came home (finally) and we ordered KFC.

And the cycle repeats.

Wait, scratch out the word starving earlier on. Mom told me before to not ever say that we're starving cos' there are so many people out there who are really starving. We're merely hungry or just greedy for food. Starving is so much worse. Like on the verge of dying because there is nothing at all to eat. After dinner, I always say I'm full and Mom would tell me not to say that cos' people are hungry on the streets and I should be thankful I have food to eat. Makes sense.

And scratch out the fact that I would die of fatness. I wish I could give my fats to the malnourished children out there.

Bye.

Smart listens to the head, stupid listens to the heart.

2010-03-12T20:02:00.004+08:00

“I would rather have eyes that cannot see; ears that cannot hear; lips that cannot speak, than a heart that cannot love.” -Robert Tizon

So I'm very disappointed with my mock exam results, which completely explains the lack of updates these days. I did so much worse than I'd ever expect. My studies are going downhill, my parents are disappointed in me, I'm disappointed in myself. After getting all the papers, I asked myself whether I'd truly put my heart and soul into studying and mugging before the exams. I wouldn't say that I studied really hard but I did study, just not to my best after all.

When I got home on Tuesday, it actually dawned on me that I did so badly. I felt like crying but I promised myself I would never cry over my studies. If that's my results, I accept it because I deserved it. It's my own fault for not studying hard enough. I believe that my tears are reserved for emotions like happiness, sadness, relationships, friendships, missing people, loving people and emotional scenes. I won't ever cry over my results, and I won't ever cry if I hurt myself physically (unless I really hurt myself very badly).

The past few days I've been busy revising my notes after school, going for yoga in between, have dinner and then revising again before bathing and then off to bed. That had been my routine for the past three days. I hope to keep that up till the IGCSEs are over, but I'm not sure whether I can.

I want to push myself, I want to motivate myself, I want to inspire myself.

It's Friday today and I'm taking a break. Just today. It's the holidays next week and I'm going to be mugging the whole time except for a couple of shopping-and-movie dates and catching up with my mates. Other than that, I'll be at yoga for an hour and studying the rest of the day.

This week went by really slowly. It practically crawled, even though I had only four days at school. Stayed back for Art today. I spent 5 hours painting a lizard and another 3 hours painting a snake. How much work does Art take? So much time and effort. My theme for the IGCSE Art Exam is "Reptiles". And you know the skins and scales on the reptiles? Yeah I need all that details. Great, I'll be murdered by Art at the end of all these.

Nevertheless, I'm glad it's the holidays. (Though I'll be mugging my ass off and non-stop painting stupid reptiles.)

Alright, I'm off to read my magazine and other stuff. Might not be posting soon but that's okay.

Oh, nothing sweeter than summertime.

2010-03-08T23:52:00.006+08:00

"Happiness comes in many forms - in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It’s okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be." -Unknown

Just came out from the hot steaming shower.

There wasn't any school today due to some programme being held for the IB students in school.

I finally fulfilled my shopping desires today. And I spent, oh I spent. We spent a couple of hours under the sun and dust at Sarojini Nagaar and I feel very satisfied, though I would love to shop again.

Sometimes I feel really terrible for shopping. After buying a huge stack of clothes, I see those beggar children on the streets wearing rags to cover themselves and begging for water and food. Just water and food, not money or anything else. What do they think of fashion? What do they know of pretty clothes and shiny jewellery? Nothing. All they need to satisfy them in life is water to keep them hydrated and food to fill their stomachs. They don't care if they're falling behind trends, they don't care if they have the most beautiful dress. If they have money, they spend it on food and water or to feed their younger siblings or family. These children want to eat and they'll grab at the chance to fill up their stomachs till they burst.

What about us? We starve ourselves to look 'perfect'. No one has the right to define 'perfect'? Not the richest person in the world nor the most powerful man on earth. No one is perfect. We throw away food and waste resources to look 'good' whereas these kids would kill for that food, even if it is rotten or spoiled. What satisfies us? Looking beautiful, being the most fashionable, having the most money and power and so much more.

Sometimes being simple is what makes life beautiful. Look at these kids. Going to school satisfies them. What about most of us? I for one hate school. But so many children out there would jump at the chance to go to school and learn something. Eating and drinking sufficiently for a day satisfies them. Receiving a gift satisfies them. Sometimes we have to learn from them and that will make us realise one day that life isn't about getting the best things in the world or about having the nicest clothes. They teach us to be happy with what we have cos' there are always other people out there who would kill to be half of what we are. There are always people out there who are poor and suffering. We have to learn to cherish whatever is given to us.

So school's starting tomorrow and I'm not the least excited for it. Nevertheless, four more days in school and it's the mid-semester break! I'm looking forward to that. But after missing school for a couple of days, I have so much to catch up on. I think English Literature coursework draft 2 is due tomorrow but I guess the teacher will cut me some slack. I'll have to catch up.

Went for yoga today after missing four lessons. Stiff as hell but I'll get back in shape in no time.

It's past 10 and I'm going off to bed.

Crazy friends and weird buddies.

2010-03-07T15:16:00.006+08:00

My friends are totally weird which rubs off on me teehee.

We dressed up, Mallika as Phantom of the Opera, Kavita as a Hobbit, Maggie as a Fairy, me as an Orc.

Janaki's the Unicorn!

We scared the little kids away at the playground in our masks and costumes.

See how crazy they are.

Good vs. Evil: Angles vs. Demons (dark and light contrast, get it?)

I brought Pocky for them to eat. :)

Waiting on the world to change.

2010-03-07T15:02:00.000+08:00

Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes.

2010-03-07T14:30:00.004+08:00

"Grab my hand and let's take on the whole world together." -Unknown

I'm back from my sleepless sleepover. :) We had a lot of fun jumping around, role-playing, playing on swings, sliding down slides, balancing the see-saw and heart2heart talks!

I have more than a hundred photos which only captured the memories of half the day. Not enough I suppose. But the camera battery died afterwards so the memories are kept in my brain, processed but cannot be printed out or stored in the computer teehee.

Most of the day was spent watching Lord Of The Rings: The Trilogy. It was a marathon! We started watching from 2pm, only stopping for breaks to the bathroom, getting snacks and dinner. After the 1st movie which took like 3 hours, we went for a walk in the park. Got back and continued watching Part 2 and 3.

We slept at 5am this morning.

I was dead tired and during the last part of the last movie, my eyelids were drooping and I told Janaki to hit me if I fell asleep. The last movie was really sad and I would've really cried if I was paying attention and not dozing off in between.

Went to Kavita's room and we slept like logs. We brought sleeping bags and slept on the floor. Again, I fell into a trance immediately after hitting the floor. Got up at 9am and we had pancakes for breakfast. :) Maggie's car came and she dropped me off at home around 11. Washed up and everything before settling down and looking at the pictures.

Nevertheless, I didn't go shopping in the morning yesterday due to Lavinia not showing up at my door at 10.30am and when I called her, she said she wasn't coming. I was mad at her at first cos' she didn't tell me earlier and if I hadn't called her, I wouldn't have known that she wasn't coming.

However she's making up for it cos' she's going shopping with me tomorrow. I cross my fingers and hope she doesn't cancel last minute!

Alright I'm gonna upload pictures soon. And crap I have to start working on my IGCSE Art Prep 1. I'm so screwed I'm so screwed.

Monday's a holiday and school starts on Tuesday. Dang I'm gonna be getting my results for all papers, homework's gonna start piling, tests are gonna start pouring in and I'll start getting stressed all over again. Not to forget I have to work my brains and blood and sweat and tears over Art again. Don't all these ever stop?!

Straight through my heart.

2010-03-05T23:45:00.007+08:00

Sports Day - 5 March 2010

Lavi and her actions...

This kid is sooooo adorable and he's gonna be so hot when he's older. For now, he's only 9 years old. His name is Pierre. He is French and he's Weihan's best friend's brother. Blonde hair, blue eyes, hot or what?! (I'm sorry I'm a pedophile!)

And they say I have normal friends...

I hang out with the weirdest people ever.

Year 11 girls in action.

After the race.

Primary school kids

Poseidon and Orris house.

Bodi's leaving todaaaay. ):

That's all for the Sports Day.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner with the babes - 3 March 2010

Girlfriend with her poses.

Love ya'll.

Alright that's all I know I mass spammed photos. :) I'll update soon, most probably Sunday! I'll have more pictures to upload by then teehee.

Calling out my name like a long lost friend.

2010-03-05T18:58:00.006+08:00

"I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away, they don't look away, they don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight without an ounce of selfishness to it. " -Keri Russell

In the past few days when I was in Singapore,

I missed my mock examination results on Wednesday and Thursday.

I missed going through the papers during classes.

I missed the shopping trip we were meant to go on.

I missed the movie date we had to catch Percy Jackson.

I missed my last International Evening where they sell food from all over the world.

I missed my last Holi where they throw colours at each other just for the heck of it.

But that's okay. Cos' I got to go home although for the wrong reason. Nevertheless, I got to spend time with my cousins, bonded with them and got to know them better. I played with the youngest of them all, Seth and Joeunn, two little one year olds. I hope they don't forget my face when I next see them!

I realise that it does take a while to get used to being back in Singapore. Moreover I was only back there for five days. I had to get use to the weather (so hot and humid!!), my skin had to get use to the climate so I had to use different skin products. I had to get used to the fact that there was a huge variety of food ahead of me and it was so convenient to just make a trip opposite and buy something to eat. I have to get used to my brother's super speed driving and Singapore's super smooth roads, unlike India. Also, I barely heard any horns on the road. India's just the opposite. You can't count five seconds without hearing a horn.

I shall not blog about my short trip back home. Instead, I'll have some pictures posted up. I took time off after the funeral and met up with my babes for a short dinner at Ajisen. :)

So I'm back to where I'm meant to be, for now. Back to my own room, comfortable big bed, nice-smelling bathroom, messy table, bursting wardrobe and everything else possibly mentioned.

Landed and got home at midnight, due to the stupid, slacking workers at the airport who took so long to unload the luggage onto the belt for us to collect after landing. We waited for an hour. I mean, why can't they do things properly? In Singapore when you've got to the belt, the luggage have already circled around like three times. See, that's the difference.

When my head hit the pillow last night, I fell asleep just like that. I was that tired.

Got up just in time for school this morning. It was 47th Annual Sports Day today. I ran for Orris House okay. Like, three events! Don't play play, teehee. I have some pictures, will upload them later. I think I got a tan. It's so freaking sunny and hot. And we were forced to sit in the sun for almost an hour just to listen to the guest of honours speak.

After school, washed up and switched on my tablet. Checked my mail, Facebook and blogs before turning up the music and taking a nap. I slept for two hours before hitting the showers. Started blogging after that and dad came home and we had dinner.

Today at dinner, dad told us stories about his family and my cousins when they were younger. Having a big family does have it's advantages, like last time when the older generation had like, ten kids?! Which makes this generation have like a million cousins haha. But it's fun.

Okay, on a lighter note, winter is officially over! I'm in a t-shirt and shorts. Finally, shortssssss. The mornings are still chilly but it gets really hot in the afternoon. I WANT SUMMER.

Alright that's all for today. I have a shopping date and mass Lord Of The Rings date tomorrow! :P

Nothing can stop me here with you, superhuman.

2010-02-26T18:02:00.004+08:00

"Most things break, including hearts. The lessons of life amount not to wisdom but to scar tissue and callus." -Wallace Stegner; The Spectator Bird

I'm flying back to Singapore tonight with Mom and Weihan. Dad's already back there since yesterday morning. This time, I'm going back home for the wrong reason. We'll be there till Wednesday or Thursday I think. In the meantime I won't be posting.

So long.

I know you're happy somewhere else.

2010-02-25T22:48:00.003+08:00

My Grandfather

I wonder if my 'ah-gong' ever held me like that. He used to call me "Wei-er". My strongest memory of him as a child was when I had a stiff neck and wouldn't stop crying. He brought me downstairs to the provision shop, bought me my favourite chocolate and said in chinese, "I'll give you the chocolate if you let me fix your neck." Then he held my face with his hands and fixed it miraculously. It hurt of course, but I got chocolate in return so I was happy.

I used to live with ah-gong and ah-ma when I was a baby, up till I was 3 years old and we moved to our Jurong flat. We visited my grandparents every two weeks. Then, we moved to Jakarta. Ah-gong and ah-ma were worried because protests and bombs were rife then. I remember there was one huge attack when I was 7 years old, and my grandparents were so worried that they wanted us to go back to Singapore immediately.

I spent my Chinese New Years then without my grandparents, and that was 4 years of chinese new years. When we got back to Singapore in 2003, we spent a very heart-warming chinese new year together. All the grandchildren sitting around ah-gong and listen to his stories and the parents will be cooking and some of them listening too.

At the end of 2003, ah-ma passed away. I cried so much. Then I thought of ah-gong, all alone at home without ah-ma, spending the rest of his life without her. My grandparents weren't part of a fairytale, they weren't so intensely in love with each other like how movies seem to show. They didn't express their love for each other, but I know that deep down ah-gong loved ah-ma.

Then ah-gong moved in with my uncle. My uncle goes to Malaysia sometimes so ah-gong comes and stays with us for awhile. I remember him getting mixed up between me and Weihan and sometimes calling me my childhood name again. He would wake up so early in the morning and sit there, watching tv, then falling asleep on the sofa. Then he'll take his lunch, fall asleep, watch tv. Again, take his dinner, fall asleep and finally go into the room and sleep. Everyday the same cycle repeats. I was alittle afraid to talk to him cos' it was awkward and my chinese wasn't that good at that time. He tries to strike a conversation with me but all I can say are one word replies. I hate myself for that. I wished I'd chatted with my grandfather and made sure he was happy staying with us.

After we went to India, they moved him to a nursing home where he could get proper medical care with a nurse 24/7. I guess it was good for him, but he was lonely. I visited him last year along with my uncles and aunts and cousins and I saw his face light up like a kid receiving a gift during Christmas. He must have felt really happy because all his children and grandchildren came and visit him, spent a day with him chatting and buying him his favourite durians. I remember sneaking around with my relatives with the durian because he wasn't allowed to eat durian but my aunt insisted on letting him have some.

That was the last time I saw ah-gong.

My grandfather passed away yesterday morning. I will never feel awkward because he isn't going to be around anymore. He won't spend a few weeks at our house and ask for his favourite biscuits anymore. He won't get my name wrong anymore. We wouldn't have to go visit him at the nursing home because he won't be there anymore. We won't be sneaking around with durians because he won't have a chance to eat it anymore.

Ah-gong moved back to live with my uncle a week before Chinese New Year this year. He passed away peacefully. I guess he wanted to be home, to be around his family, to spend one last chinese new year with his family before leaving.

I wasn't even there to see him for one last time. I didn't even get to spend the last two chinese new years with him. I wished I'd spent more time with him. I wished I could have got to know him better. I wished I could have found out about his favourite colour, his favourite tv show, his favourite foods and many many many more things which I can never find out anymore. It's true when they say that you'll only learn to cherish after you've lost them.

But I tell myself that he's somewhere in heaven right now, with ah-ma, watching over us, protecting the family they've built.

Rest in peace, ah-gong.

I miss you.

Now there's no escaping it for you.

2010-02-23T00:29:00.012+08:00

Hi I'll let the pictures tell you about my off-day yesterday. :) Lavi came over early in the morning (woke me up) and we lazed in the bed and gossiped for almost an hour before getting down to business. We studied for three out of the five hours she was there at my house. And managed to click some photos. (my credit teehee)

Midst of Physics cramping.

Biology mysteries.

Our pile of books and whatnot on the living room table.

So that's all for the day yesterday. Headed for yoga afterwards.

Next, these pictures were taken on Saturday. Went to Bhutan Embassy for a fair which sucked to be honest, and walked from there to Singapore High Commission (less than a kilometer). Passed by a slum which smelled pretty bad. Then headed President's Residence for some open house where we could not bring cameras or ANYTHING inside at all. (not even handphones. Ugh, India...) Stopped by the government parliaments for some photos. The parliament is like the best/cleanest part of Delhi, really.

Mom and Dad in the Bhutan Embassy.

Walking towards Singapore High Commission: This a the street of Delhi.

Slum, as you can see, clothes hanging outside haphazardly.

I had Indian food for the first time in India! This is what we call 'prata' but here in India they call it "paratha". It's yum, I think nicer than Singapore's. But hey, I'm in India, this IS Indian food.
Sorry we were squinting cos' the sun was in our eyes! Remind me to wear shades the next time I go out.

Parliament house

All government cars look like this. White like Mr Bean's car.

Looks pretty amazing for India huh.

I just had to edit this: vintage effect. Seems like Europe if I didn't tell you it's India right!

The India Gate. One of Delhi's most famous monuments. We just passed by it, haven't went down to actually look at it before.

That sums it up.

Papers today were good. Physics Practical was good until I messed up in the last experiment but it's okay. Maths Paper 2 was easy! Finally something easy to breeze through. So tomorrow it's Physics MCQ and Theory which I am prepared to totally flunk. I've already told Mom that the most I can get is a C or a B. After that is English Literature paper. Two whole hours of writing non-stop again.

Studied quite a bit just now, maybe two hours maximum. Got home pretty early and read Physics notes and Literature notebook. I'm heading off to yoga in half an hour.

Alright I will not be posting for the next two days till my last paper - Bio MCQ and Theory is over. I'm gonna have to revise hard for Biology tomorrow! I'm pinning my 'science' hopes on Bio. It's my only chance, teehee.

Till Thursday!

Untouchable like a distant diamond sky.

2010-02-21T17:52:00.007+08:00

"I want sunshine and beach hair, the smell of coconuts and salt water and sand all over. I wanna drive 90 with all the windows down, and float in the pool. I wanna party with my best friends. I wanna watch fireworks and lie on the front lawn looking at the stars. I want an adventure every day. I want the morning after around a kitchen table, laughing about the night before. I want the next day with my friends on the front porch." - I Want Summer

I spent 5 hours of today productively. One hour starting from 10am for English Literature, another hour for Physics. I know I know, cramping two years of Physics in my head in one hour?! Es no imposible! But I did it, because I simply don't give two hoots about Physics. I would've dropped it if I could, seriously. I took a break for an hour before heading on to Biology. I spent two hours. :) But I'm willing to cos' Bio's my favourite science teehee.

Alright, so that's a total of four hours of studying and an hour of lunch in between.

Then I replied to Sis' mail, I miss her.

Spent the rest of day lazing around with nothing better to do. I wasn't in the mood to open my books again thus I sat in the living room with the tablet and the television on. Sorry I don't have a life.

I have pictures to post. I'm too lazy to tell you about my day yesterday in words. Thus I'll use the photos! I spent this weekend again with my family. Maybe coming to New Delhi had some advantages after all. I think I've spent so much more time bonding with my family in these two years. In Singapore, both my parents worked. Yeah we had dinner together everyday and all. But on weekends we barely go out. We stay at home and I'll go to the coffee shop to buy fried rice for everyone for dinner. And most of the time mom works shifts on weekends meaning she's only home at like 10pm. So yeah, we spend more time together in Delhi. Except that Bro was only with us for six months. If I could choose, I'll still go back to Singapore times. :)

Alright, I'm going off.

You can have whatever you like.

2010-02-20T23:23:00.003+08:00

I typed these two paragraphs at about 9.30pm but I got distracted and never came back to continue my post. Sorry about that. I'll post tomorrow.

Run a parallel line with the railroad tracks.

2010-02-19T19:07:00.009+08:00

Snuck in for an update. So far, the exams were a disaster. English Language was a piece of cake, I breezed through it and even finished half an hour early. Let's start with Tuesday. I had History Paper 2 and Spanish Written. History was rather easy while Spanish as usual, was hard. But it's not like I'm going to Spain next time or anything thus it's not that important.

Wednesday, Chemistry Practical and Maths Paper 4. The practical was long and I didn't have time to check the qualitative analysis sheet for the right answers. I totally expected Maths to be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy but I was so wrong. Ugh, it was bad.

Thursday made me feel better cos' I had English Language which is by far my strongest subject. (I thought Maths was but I doubt it now.)

Well today I had Biology Practical and Spanish Orals. The practical wasn't easy but it wasn't as bad as Chemistry. Spanish orals, I don't even wanna talk about it. It was terrible. I memorized a 3-min speech but I totally blanked out when I was sitting in front of the teacher. Gosh I felt like stabbing myself with my pen. I was so nervous I kept clicking the pen. Plus they record the orals as a practice cos' in the real IGCSE oral, they have to send it to Cambridge or some sort. Yes so the teacher was speaking into the recorder and then she pushed it in my face and expected me to reply to the question she asked. Sigh, all in all it was horrible.

So I'm relaxing a little today cos' it's a Friday and I have a long weekend ahead of me!There are no exams that concern me thus I have an off-day. :) But of course it'll be use productively for studying.

Alright that's all for the short post. Not to forget... (one day late but better than nothing)

Birthday boy (or should I say, man) of yesterday. It was my big old brother's birthday yesterday and this guy just turned 24. I know it's so unbelievable. It feels like he's still a teenager spurting to an adult. Our age gap isn't that huge and I can always count on him to keep my secrets from dad. My brother has taught me so many things and that I thank him for. As for the cheeky stuff we do, the two of us older ones always gang up on the little boy and make fun at him. Not that he hasn't ganged up with Weihan to bully me haha. He probably won't see this post but nevertheless:

Happy Birthday Brother!

I called you up that night to wish you already but I still have to post this. I miss you so much man. I miss the times when we bunked in your room and you used to scare me by grabbing me from under the bed. And the times when you coyly tell me about the progression between you and your girlfriend which never fails to make to laugh. Remember the times when you used to make fun of me and tease me till we got sick of the joke? Thanks for being there for me always and I know that I can always talk to you about my problems. And you know you can always share your woes with me too. Study hard okay, don't miss this chance again. I know you'll get the scholarship cos' you're my clever and smart and handsome and charming and funny brother. I can't wait till your graduation day and your wedding day teehee. Miss you bro, see you soon.

And my post ends here, till later!

A palm tree with Christmas lights.

2010-02-16T22:17:00.004+08:00

"So it's not going to be easy, it's going to be really hard, and we're going to have to work at it everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you forever, everyday, for the rest of my life." -The Notebook

I'll be away for the one week due to exams. Most probably won't be going online, instead I'll be mugging teehee. But I just might sneak in to check my mail or something. :)

Update soon, toodles for now!

Say it again for me.

2010-02-15T22:38:00.010+08:00

Sorry for the late update of photos. First off, let's start with this picture of "fu". :D

Steamboat

People enjoying (Dad's colleagues and friends)

Me and the little boy. (sorry I was in PJs teehee)

How the fireworks were set off.

Ka-powwwwww

Pretty ain't it?

The "red loooooong thing"

Super loud and noisy

Big explosions and they hurt!

Yu sheng!!!!

Getting ready

Happy Chinese New Year!

End product = yum

Day 2: Taiwanese Temple

Jacky is so adorable, although a little mischievous

Statue of the Buddha at the 'temple'

Group of monks

Sorry I needed a seat!

So that's all for the photos. And now about today's exam.

Chem was fine, MCQ was easy and theory a little difficult but not as hard as I imagined.

History was a disaster, I made such a huge mistake! You're meant to do 2 questions out of 4 in Section A and 1 question out of 2 in Section B. On the top of the exam paper they wrote "do 3 questions only". So I thought I'm supposed to do 3 questions in Section A and 1 question in Section B. Thus I did 4 questions in total. In two hours. I rushed through and my last question was screwed up cos' I didn't have enough time. I'm so dead I'm so dead. Oh man I hope I can at least get a B in History, if not I'll be really disappointed. And I wrote for three hours non-stop today! It was the killer, my right-hand is sore now. First two hours were Paper 1 and the next one hour was Paper 3. It sucked, we didn't even get time to rest before starting Paper 3.

Sigh, it's over, I can't do anything.

Tomorrow's papers are History Paper 2 and Spanish! Spanish I hardly studied cos' I know that even if I did, nothing will go in thus I just read through my notes. History I read through once more. I hope everything goes well tomorrow!

Went for yoga today. I was so exhausted I almost slept during the meditation period. :x I've been pretty busy today. And I still need to rush out a design for Orris house banner. Gosh.

Alright, going off, it's 9pm.

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me.

2010-02-14T22:24:00.002+08:00

First off, Happy Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day (they're both red) to all of you out there. :) It's 10pm and I have to go real soon. My mock exams start tomorrow and I'm starting to get nervous. I wanna do well this time, really. Thus I'm making do with a quick post with some back-dated photos.

Me and Mallika by the basketball court

Goat's kidney - still unharmed

Cutting it into half...

Observe the medulla, pelvis, renal vein and artery, ureter and cortex (yes revising Bio)

At your right, you can see the pyramids as well.

Alright class, that's all for today's Biology kidney-dissection lesson. Please tune in later. (Hahahaha I know I have a great sense of humour, you flatter me.)

So a quick run-through about today. It's the first day of Lunar New Year, we went to a Taiwanese temple. It wasn't a proper temple with incense and all that. Just monks who came and chanted. Well, it is the new year isn't it? So we had some vegetarian lunch and then headed back home. Studied History for about two hours before having dinner. We had steamboat! Just the family, us four. And I called Bro who was eating too hahahaha.

Oh yes wait a sec. Yesterday's first reunion dinner in New Delhi. (Last year dad wasn't too good thus we didn't have it. But no inauspicious things allowed today!!) It wasn't that bad, plus the food was good. Excuse me, but the foods were imported from Singapore. We even set off fireworks. And by fireworks I don't mean the noob sparkly things. I mean the BIG thing. The ones you see at National Day, the ones that burst in the sky and rain down. Cool huh. Plus! We also did that Chinese fireworks thing. The one that goes off really loud and deafening, and you only see it on television. The one that's banned in Singapore, the red long one with small tubes that go off. Okay it's hard to explain and I tried my best haha. :) I'll put up pictures tomorrow. Then you'll see what I really mean by that "red long one".

Alright, wish me luck for Chemistry MCQ/Theory and History Papers 1 and 3 tomorrow! I'll need it. I shall go read up last minute Chemistry notes and then off to bed for a fresh start tomorrow. (or should I say doomsday...)

But I know your streets are lined with a fine mess inside.

2010-02-13T18:50:00.005+08:00

"Falling in love doesn't happen just once.
Every time you hear their voice after not hearing it for a week.
Every time you see that smile brightens the room.
Every time they make you laugh when you don't even want to smile.
Every kiss hello and see-you-later hug.
That's when you fall in love. Not once, but everyday."

I spent three hours mugging for Chemistry just now. It was da bombz. I wrote notes till my pen's almost out of ink.

This morning when my eyes fluttered open, the first thing that crossed my mind was, "I'm gonna have to study today." I immediately groaned and shut my eyes, trying to go back to sleep. I'd rather sleep the day away. In the end, I crawled out of bed, washed up and went to make myself breakfast.

Sat around for about an hour before really getting started with the business. I did Chemistry cos' I'm not really familiar with it yet. I couldn't memorize everything thus I wrote everything down. Things like the formulas and uses and stuff. I did two years of notes in 7 pages. All that took three hours. I'm tried as hell.

It's 5pm, I'm gonna take a shower before people start piling into the house. I'll take some photos of our 'steamboat in New Delhi' later. :)

Toodles.

(I really wanna watch Valentine's Day! After the mocks, can't wait.)

But you're still with me in my dreams.

2010-02-12T21:53:00.006+08:00

Mom bought flowers today. And we're having reunion dinner tomorrow at our house. Dad's invited all his colleagues/friends who are single. Steamboaaaaaat, yuuuum.

I had delicious dumplings for dinner. :) The soup was fab. However my stomach's bursting... soon. And I have yet to take a shower.

So Chinese New Year is coming. This is the 6th out the my fifteen years of life spending Chinese New Year away from home. The first five years of my life, spent in Singapore along with my family, friends and relatives. Then the next four years were spent in Jakarta. Afterward, back in Singapore for another six years. 2009, first Chinese New Year in New Delhi. This will be my second. Ain't my life so interesting?

But I do miss celebrating Chinese New Year with family, friends and relatives. I think reunion dinner's the utmost important. It's when everyone comes together, sits together at one table, have steamboat with delicious mouth-watering delicacies. Despite their busy schedules, they turn up with smiles on their faces, forgetting their troubles. It's the start of a new year so it's time to leave the bad things behind and start with a new one. Not to forget, lau yu sheng is my favourite. I can't wait till I'm back home next year, sitting at a huge round table eating my reunion dinner with the completed family. :)

Last but not least, it's Valentine's Day this Sunday as well. I don't remember how I spent that day for the past years of my life. I guess it never occurred to me that Valentine's Day is some important not-to-be-missed day. Well all I know is that I'll start cherishing 14th February more. It's only once a year, which is what makes it special. :)

Oh, and the tv is down, once again. How annoying is that. Sigh, I want to watch box office movies!

One more thing, I hate staying at home cos' I start going to the kitchen, opening the fridge and cupboards, looking for things to eat, even when I'm not hungry. This only happens on weekends and Fridays. Oh man. How I wish I could just eat and not get fat or fall sick. Life's unfair.

I just had to post this. My kid brother's all grown up now! I think he looks nice in this photo, although you can only see his eyes and nose.

Alright, going off. I'll take a shower first, adieu.

Holding on, the days drag on.

2010-02-12T20:11:00.007+08:00

I have mass-overload of pictures and a ton of things to do. So I'll make do with a quick post filled with photos of food today. :)

Well today after school, I tried opening my Chemistry notebook and studying but nothing got into my head thus I gave up. I sat at the dining table with mom, making dumplings! Mom says that at reunion dinner, we must eat dumplings. :) However these dumplings are for dinner tonight. Just us four. I miss Brother, wish he was here. And Wannee too. Sigh, nevermind, one more year and we'll be back home!

Dumpling filling

Dumpling skin

Dumpling-shape maker (Daiso product)

Tray of dumplings, there's one more

Yum, can't wait to sink my teeth into them

Right, anyway, it's Friday today! Finally, end of the week (school). It's time for weekend, except this weekend and the next, I'll be mugging hard. Then it'll be time to relax for about... a week or two! But afterwards will be even harder mugging cos' of the nearing IGCSEs.

I lugged a whole stack of textbooks, notebooks and files home today. Sunhil had to help me carry it cos' it was too heavy. Weekend, here I come!

So here are the late pineapple-tarts photos. (Kudos to godma who sent mom the recipe, thus we're able to enjoy some chinese new year goodies!)

Unbaked

In the oven, processing

Out of the oven

Tadaah!

Alright I'll update later, it's dinner time!